In a recent book published, “Just One Thing” by Rick Hanson, he has a number of mindful suggestions that I found worthwhile.
Here is one…..Be on your side!
Be on your side is a call to be your own best friend. Recall a time where you were a friend for another where you offered support, concern, warmth among other qualities. Consider that you could direct these energies towards you – be on your side. What would that feel like?
Be on your side does not mean to be against others. Rather, it is a call to remember to consider yourself along with others. As you go about your day, does it feel like you are always considering others’ needs including those of children, friends, colleagues and loved ones. Perhaps you are forgetting to consider yourself and what is needed for your wellbeing. Be on your side calls for us to find some balance between your needs and others.
Be on your side means feeling safe to articulate your needs without undue anxiety. It assumes reciprocality in relationships as well as interdependence and mutual respect.
An important question now — how to be on your side?
Here are some suggestions….
At any time during your day, ask yourself “Am I on my side now?” or “Am I looking out for what is important to me?”
You could also ask yourself: “Being on my side, what would be the best thing to do now?”
Try imagining the experience of support in your body. If you are sitting right now, pay attention to the points of contact between you and the chair and feeling the support from the chair.
Imagine your best friend and a recent incidence where you were a friend for that person. Perhaps you offered support, concern or warmth, or maybe all three. Now imagine that you can give that same energy to yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to experience it in your body. You can even think of your feet, legs, pelvis, abdomen, arms and face and simply rest in the felt sense.
Overall, to be on your side, is to care about yourself, your experience, and to value being treated with kindness, compassion and respect.